what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
