The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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