I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
