just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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