That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
