The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
