I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
