We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
