i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he thought i was a dude.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
