The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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