You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my sisters under your porch take her home
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
