U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I want to be your penis for a week.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
