I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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