Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
