can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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