so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
