Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We are all done wearing pants today
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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