Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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