she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
