Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
