she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
