lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
