i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
