seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
