There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize