By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
