I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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