that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
a search helicopter?!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
