His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
