where am i from again
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
