We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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