I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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