dude i'm inner monologue high
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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