No awkward lesbian experiences without me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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