You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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