apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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