She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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