So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
