She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
