If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
