i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
