do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
