i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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