i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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