Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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