Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize