I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
