So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
