I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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