Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
