Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
