There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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