real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
