considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
