"it" just moved
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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