In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
