I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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