You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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