wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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